Week 2 Day 10 The 50s Homemaker...US Army... and a Touch on Feminism

     Okay, I have a confession to make. Please don't judge...just take it for what it is. I absolutely, positively LOVED being an at home wife and mother! And this was in the 80's when "Feminism" had quite a foothold in the minds of women.  I had completely "old fashioned" ideas of being home and raising a family ala June Cleaver style. 
 So, Feminism... I got it...really. Equal Pay is a no brainer even though it still doesn't happen but I wanted to keep my bra! The "Free Sex Movement" sounded like an ad in a sports magazine for men. I dressed liked a hippie but didn't completely buy into the schtick although (another confession) I did do the drugs of the times. Then...something happened.  I had accidentally joined the Army a few years after Vietnam in the 70's...NOT because I was a feminist...I went into the recruiter's office to ask a question and I came out a soldier to be.  It seemed my head was still spinning over that move, I can't say decision because I can't honestly say that I had made one. I was leaving for Fort McClellan Alabama in January which left me plenty of time to think about what I had done. I kept replaying the movie and pictures that the recruiter showed me of happy Jumping Jack Women in white tennis sneakers, white tea shirts and I think culottes. I was telling myself..."How hard can it be? I bet it is just like gym at school."   What Old Sarge neglected to tell me was that there was a change by the time I went in. It was called "The New Army" and that footage of WACs would be history. Speaking of History...I was part of the first wave of women that went through Basic Combat Training...just like the men. And my opinion of those days being added among the non-gender Soldier count was... dismal.  I complained that the only "feminists"  were all out there in civilian lives fighting for our rights to do this crap. I was not a fan. 

(Me in the foreground) 

   FAST forward to marriage in 1981! and all I wanted to do was be a wife and mother and stay home and raise children and bake pies and cookies etc. Now, I am not saying that there were not challenges...There were totally real challenges...we were raising 6 kids with one income and saying that money was tight was an understatement.  But we did it. Our priority was me staying home to raise the kids and therefore everything was arranged around that one goal. We used to have a monthly date night and would go out for an exquisite meal but realized the $$ spent wasn't worth it and I learned how to cook exquisite meals. We had friends over for those meals and that would be our entertainment.

    My kids were loved and cared for and treated as precious...but...did not have the physical stash that others may have had. I made some of their clothes, thrift stores were visited when it came to clothing everyone. Basically you wear something once and it is an used item anyway...right?  The kids never got the day to day "treats" when we enter a store we got the food or whatever we came in for and left, and they never asked for them actually. When we went to get an ice cream cone it was appreciated as a treat, not expected and not complained about like they should be able to get a sundae instead. I baked the sweets & Treats that they had on a day to day basis.

But,we sure blew it up for Holidays and Birthdays! Christmas you couldn't even get near the tree! 
    I used to stress about the mess but thought how clean my house would be if I was never able to have children and relaxed after that. Give me The Mess!!!  I treasured these kids and would stop what I was doing just to watch them play or listen to them talk to each other. I believed everyone older that would say that the years would fly by so I didn't find any reason to not just enjoy who these kids were at each and every age.   They knew that they were loved.  The bottom line is that I had always thought it was going to be great to be a mom and it exceeded my expectations!!
    Being a wife...What can I say? Perfect? No...but success is not Perfect,  its overlooking, forgiving, loving and moving one. We made sure we always remained at the foundation of it all...husband and wife. Not mother and father, or breadwinner and homemaker. We fell in love and got married before any of it and needed to keep that in the present tense. The kids will grow up and start their own lives, which they have and even though those titles of Mom and Dad remain it isn't the same job. But Husband and wife is. I owned and ran my own business for a number of years so the breadwinner/homemaker thing took a sabbatical also but again the husband and wife titles remained. Our relationship came first...without us being on good terms and still in love, there was no longer a working family as it was and we really wanted to make it to the forever mark. 
When it came to making it financially...we didn't go into debt for anything...well a car a few times but other than that...nope! When we were told that the best thing for our credit was to get credit cards we went hog wild. My kids and us had more than we had ever had...and right away. But we sold our future earnings to pay it all back at interest. We didn't learn and did that over and over again through the years. But now are happily debt free except our house and there is such freedom that I got to close my business and be a homemaker once again! If your desire is to stay home...you CAN accomplish it. You must live within your means, watch the little leaks in your spending, get out of debt and be committed to thisbeing the most important goal. My husband never had a high paying job...ever...and we did it. You Can Too!
Okay, that is enough musings for the day. On to the shopping, banking and getting ready for One of our Sons and family to spend the weekend. 
Cookout on Saturday...I should make a jello mold to stick with the 50's theme. Y'all have a great day!